Houses with antenna
Commies13

Commies!

Anyone could be a Commie
Hand1

Hand Magic

I was a magician!

I'm done telling this story, but the site will live on. Check out my (mostly satirical) commentary about the election and other matters at EdSteinInk.com! -- Ed

Visit EdSteinInk.com

I wanted a possum grin.
Possum Grin3My second favorite TV show, after Zeebo the Clown, was Uncle Elihu.
Possum Grin2Uncle Elihu had a little puppet sidekick named P.J. Possum.
The only way to get a possum grin from P.J. Possum was to be on the show.
Possum Grin1Most of the kids at school had already gotten a possum grin, some more than once, and I was still without one. You received a possum grin by sticking your index finger into P.J.’s mouth and letting him nibble on it.
Possum Grin4I was certain that getting one would be a life-changing experience, one that would imbue me with a special aura reserved only for we lucky few possum grin veterans. From that magnificent moment on I would inhabit a higher plane of existence.
Possum Grin5I conceived a foolproof strategy for getting on the show, which involved a campaign of non-stop begging and whining until Mom agreed to take me to the station.
Possum Grin6The day finally came when I joined the other kids upstairs in the Chicken Roost, waiting for our turn. Uncle Elihu told his stories and played his ukelele for what seemed like forever while we squirmed in our seats.
Possum Grin7Finally, it was time. We came down from the Chicken Roost and lined up for our possum grins.
Possum Grin8There were dozens of kids ahead of me. I worried that the show would end before I got there. My turn came at last. I stood before P.J., stuck out my finger, and…
Possum Grin9P.J. chomped on my finger a couple of times. There was a little hole in the bottom of P.J.’s mouth, and a man’s thumb slipped out of it while I was getting my possum grin. It felt weird and creepy.

I was stunned. I returned to my seat in a daze.
Possum Grin10On the way home I sat in my seat in silence, staring at my finger. I could still feel that big ugly thumb pressing on it.
Possum Grin11Did you get what you wanted? Mom asked.

Yeah. I guess so. Kind of.
Possum Grin12When we got home I ran to the bathroom and washed the possum grin off.

Commies13

Commies!

Anyone could be a Commie
Hand1

Hand Magic

I was a magician!

I'm done telling this story, but the site will live on. Check out my (mostly satirical) commentary about the election and other matters at EdSteinInk.com! -- Ed

Visit EdSteinInk.com